École au Trésor-du-Boisé

Aider son enfant à développer ses habiletés sociales : un bon pas vers des relations harmonieuses

Nathalie Chad, psychoéducatrice
Kathleen Boucher, psychologue

Comme parent, vous pouvez aider votre enfant à développer ses habiletés sociales. Qu’entend-t-on par habiletés sociales? Ce sont des compétences que l’on développe pour entrer adéquatement en contact et avoir des relations harmonieuses avec les autres. Il en existe plusieurs. En voici quelques-unes :

Comment faire tout ça? Vous êtes des modèles relationnels pour vos enfants. Ils apprennent en vous observant! Saisissez les occasions. Lorsqu’une dispute survient entre vos enfants, profitez-en pour pratiquer les étapes de résolution de conflit. Félicitez votre enfant dès qu’il présente un comportement social positif, en soulignant sa bonne action. Mangez en famille. C’est un moment pour partager le vécu de la journée, écouter l’autre, souligner les bons coups, tout en contribuant aux bonnes relations familiales. Jouez avec votre enfant! Que ce soit un jeu de société, de poupées ou une activité physique, c’est une bonne occasion d’apprendre à attendre son tour, à partager le matériel et à communiquer, tout en favorisant une relation positive parent-enfant. Invitez des amis est un moyen facile et plaisant de pratiquer ses habiletés. Enfin, inscrivez votre enfant à une activité où il fréquentera d’autres jeunes tout en s’amusant.

De bonnes habiletés sociales aideront votre enfant dans toutes les sphères de sa vie! Si vous avez des préoccupations, n’hésitez pas à consulter un psychoéducateur ou un psychologue (www.ordrepsed.qc.ca ou www.ordrepsy.qc.ca/).



Help your child develop social skills : a good step towards harmonious relationships!

Nathalie Chad, psychoeducator
Kathleen Boucher, psychologist

As a parent, you can help your child develop social skills. What is meant by social skills? They are skills that are developed to properly connect and have good relationships with others. There are several. Here are a few :

o Show your child to recognize the basic emotions (joy, anger, sadness, fear) using images representing these emotions or looking at the faces of others (eg : how are the eyes, the mouth, etc.);

o Help him/her express how he/she feels about a situation, by naming the reason (ex: “I’m angry because he took my ball”).

o Find with him/her ways to calm down, control himself/herself and adapt to the situation when he/she is sad, is afraid, is stressed or is angry (ex: breathing, getting away, sport, talking to an adult, etc.);

o Show him/her how to listen carefully to the other’s message with the ears, eyes and body directed towards the person speaking, and to observe the expressions on his/her face;

o Help him/her to get in touch with each other by looking at him/her in the eyes, keeping an acceptable distance (eg : space of an arm), greeting him/her, introducing himself/herself, asking him/her how he/she is doing, asking him/her questions, etc .;

o Teach him/her to seek help from adults, his/her siblings and friends;

o Teach him/her to help others, to congratulate them, to compliment them.

o Help him/her to be sensitive to what is happening to the other people, to understand how he/she feels and to put himself/herself in their place (“I understand that you feel sad because you are alone at recess”).

o Teach him/her to formulate a clear message in a calm and affirmative tone of voice (name the person by his/her first name, say what bothers him/her by talking to the “I” and telling the other to stop the action; how I feel, say what I would like);

o Show him/her the steps involved in resolving conflicts (calm down by using different tools, talk to each other, find solutions, find the right solution for both people, for example apologize, make up for it, turn around, ask help from an adult – Ref: Towards the Pacific).


How to do all this? You are relational models for your children. They learn by watching you! Take the opportunities. When an argument arises between your children, take advantage of it to practice the conflict resolution steps. Praise your child as soon as he/she shows positive social behavior, pointing out his/her good action. Eat as a family. It’s a moment to share the experience of the day, listen to each other, highlight the good things, while contributing to good family relationships. Play with your child! Whether it’s a board game, dolls, or physical activity, it’s a good opportunity to learn how to wait, share, and communicate while promoting a positive parent-child relationship. Inviting friends is an easy and fun way to practice their skills. Finally, register your child for an activity where he/she will meet other young people while having fun.

Good social skills will help your child in all areas of his/her life! If you have any concerns, do not hesitate to consult a psychoeducator or a psychologist (www.ordrepsed.qc.ca or www.ordrepsy.qc.ca/).